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Nationwide Division One, 10/2/01
Heidar Helguson interactive game
By Andy Barnard

Welcome to the interactive role-playing bit of the report on the second half of the home match against Portsmouth. You are Heidar Helguson and have been playing your goddamn heart out as usual. But from the moment you got your first touch and the ball scudded away to Steve Claridge, you just knew that it would be one of those afternoons. Time and again your team-mates pass to you. Time and again the ball hits a divot and goes to a Portsmouth player. Either that or you get shoved in the back and the ref doesn't notice and/or accuses you of backing into the defender.

Finally, it's the dying minutes of the game and you're on the edge of the six-yard box at the Rookery end with the empty goalmouth gaping right in front of you. Once again Tommy Smith has raced onto a loose ball and made a monkey of the Portsmouth defence. This time he manages to evade the left-back's elbows and dinks a perfect ball over the keeper, who flails despairingly at the near post. The ball floats tantalisingly at perfect head-height. The options are almost endless, but to save ig too much programming here's the half-dozen most likely:

To glance the ball left, click here.

To head the ball straight ahead of you, click here.

To send the ball back towards the right, click here.

To nod the ball downwards, click here.

To catch the ball on your chest, click here.

To attempt an overhead kick, click here.