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Football and Science Monthly:
Perpetual promotion
The Nobel Committee could not have made a more controversial award. Dr. Graham Taylor's seventh demonstration of his proof that there is such a thing as perpetual promotion has scientists on both sides of the fence in a tizz.

On one side there are the continuing naysayers who contend that Dr. Taylor's methods are out-dated, empirical, and essentially unconvincing. Certainly, Dr. Taylor has not documented his work in the traditional manner, instead choosing simply to demonstrate perpetual promotion simply by delivering incontrovertible results.

The naysayers also point to the fact that there really aren't any internationally well-known laboratory assistants on his team. Dr. Taylor's response to this criticism is simple - "I once worked on an international project where work was allotted exclusively to globally recognized lab scientists. It didn't work out. I was interested in working together - they were interested in their own pet projects and in publicity for their individual achievements. In any case, if you don't recognize my staff today, you certainly will in a few weeks".

The Nobel Committee, taking the view shared by many in England (including some of the country's most eminent scientists) have concluded that this area of research is one which it is extremely difficult to document anyway. Now that a seventh demonstration has been completed, the Committee felt there really could be no doubt that perpetual promotion does exist, can be forced by human intervention to work and, in the right hands, can be a powerful force for the good of all science.

Unhappily, much of the rest of science - especially after the technical aspect of such work has been angrily diluted and misinterpreted by the popular press - appears not to want to learn from Dr. Taylor's demonstrations.

For ourselves we suggest to the naysayers that this a case of what our antipodean friends call "Sag Rapes", and that perhaps a keener observation of Dr. Taylor's methods would reveal something to them - after all, you have to watch and absorb BEFORE you write your opinion, n'est-ce pas?

The only possible fly in the ointment is Dr. Taylor's own statement recently that for the next several years he is going to be working on a related theory - that gravity can be defied: in his own words "I do not agree that what goes up must come down and I am going to prove it repeatedly". Of course, a breakthrough here would be even more amazing than his already astounding accomplishments - so much so, in fact, that this author hopes NOT to see any more promotion for a very long time.

Bob O'Einstein
Editor - SheepCloners Monthly

Note: Bob O'Einstein is the pen-name of the man he morphed into nearly fifty years ago: the artist formerly known as Nicholas Ralph (who, happily, received only 18 of Bob's 942 personalities)