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The Agricultural Supplement:
A Study of Pest Control and Crop Rotation at Craven Cottage, West London
By our mobile reporter, Simon Devon
Date: May 2nd 1998
Competition: Nationwide League Division Two
Weather Conditions: Fine, sunny
Current crop: Rhubarb
Molehills: 0.005 per square yard
Rabbit warrens: 1
Badger droppings: Limited
Landmines: None
Percentage of brown shabby bits: 5%
White line wobbly rating: 3/5
Flatness Rating: 4/5
BSaD Grass Rating: 3/5

Fulham have made a great investment in their team (shame they're not very good) and they have a pitch that is obviously very well looked after. The mark of three out of five may seem a little harsh, but the pitch had been crudely trampled by several hundred Watford fans. And Paul Moody.

The grass was a healthy green colour and wasn't as springy as it looked. Even the goal areas were fully grassed and had none of the brown shabby bits (sorry to use technical jargon) which was impressive seeing as this was the last game of a long season. The grass was somewhat short, but I'm sure this is on the order of Kevin Keegan so they can carry on with their slick passing game. The pitch has no perceivable slope, but as it was not possible to view the full length of the pitch it was quite hard to gauge.

All in all, a good quality playing surface.