In the beginning the Lord created heaven, and earth. And the earth was
void and empty, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the spirit of the
Lord moved over the waters. And the Lord said: Be light made. And light was made.
And the Lord saw the light that it was good; and he divided the light from the
darkness. And he called the light Day, and the darkness Night; and there was evening and
morning one day.
And the Lord said: Let there be a firmament made amidst the waters: and
let it divide the waters from the waters. And the Lord called the firmament, Heaven;
and the evening and morning were the second day.
The Lord also said: Let the waters that are under the heaven, be
gathered together into one place: and let the dry land appear. And it was so done. And the
Lord called the dry land, Earth; and the gathering together of the waters, he called
Seas. And the Lord saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the
And the Lord made two great lights: a greater light to rule the day; and
a lesser light to rule the night: and the stars. The Lord created on the first day,
light, which being moved from east to west, by its rising and setting, made morning and
evening. And the Lord saw that it was good. And the evening and morning were the fourth
The Lord also said: let the waters bring forth the creeping creature
having life, and the fowl that may fly over the earth under the firmament of heaven. And the
Lord created the great whales, and every living and moving creature, which the
waaters brought forth, according to their kinds, and every winged fowl according to its
kind. And the Lord saw that it was good. And the evening and morning were the fifth
And the Lord said: Let the earth bring forth the living creature in its
kind, cattle and creeping things, and beasts of the earth, according to their kinds. And
it was so done. And the Lord saw all the things that he had made, and they were very
good. And the evening and morning were the sixth day.
And the Lord made football teams for all the great cities of the world.
And the Lord saw that some were very good, and others were not so good. And then he
saw had a few bits left over from making things, and he said: they shall be a
football team too, but they are rubbish so they shall be reviled as the scum. And he saw
that there was nowhere nice to put them, so he put them together with some more garbage
and he called them Luton. And the evening and morning were the seventh day.
The Lord also said: there is now an odd number of football teams so they
cannot have a proper knockout tournament. And he said: that is not good. And so the
Lord created one more football team. And they were very good indeed, and he called
them Watford. But then he saw that there was no place to put them. And he
said: that is not good either -- they must have a pleasant place to play so that people
shall see how good they are. And he said: Okay, they shall have my place.