Lord Lucan, the Loch Ness Monster, Shergar, Richey Manic, the Tooth Fairy, Elvis Presley, Father Christmas, Richard Flash.

There are Watford fans who will swear that they've seen Richard Flash, that he does actually exist, that he's been turning out for the reserves on a regular basis for two years, that he is exactly the "up and down, box to box, cliché upon cliché" midfielder described by his profiles. However, since these people are absolute lunatics, liable to suddenly point over your shoulder, scream "AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!! IT'S THE DEVIL!!!" and run for the hills in terror, I think we can safely discount such nonsense.

Richard Flash does not exist. He was invented by the club for reasons too obscure to fathom, possibly or possibly not involving fraud on a hitherto unknown scale. Once, to allay our suspicions, the club hired a bit-part player from the lower leagues, called him 'Richard Flash' and wheeled him out for the last match of the season to run around in an "up and down, box to box" manner. We weren't fooled - he never appeared again, which rather gave the game away.

Whatever it was, 'Richard Flash' has clearly served his purpose. Ours is not to reason why and all that....