Great battles wot we have seen
Report by Ed Messenger
And so it came to pass on that fateful day in February 1970, a great storm of red and white did descend upon the Vic as the hordes came to storm our barricades from the Land of Scouse, with their bold leader Sir William of Shankley.
Now our leader of the Golden Ones who had taken us to great victories where we had never dared to venture before, Our Lord Kenneth of Furphy led us forth to repulse the marauders. His faithful lieutenants My Lords Lugg and Endean did lead an assault on their goal and when Lugg did sent the ball over toward their portly guardian Lawrence Endean rose like an eel into the air and did head the ball into the net and the valiant citizens of Watford did jump up and down and shout "IT IS A GOAL, THE LORD FURPHY'S NAME BE PRAISED".
And verily it did came to pass that we did get well and truly pissed as parrots that night in celebration of our glorious victory and in anticipation of the impending battle with the Toffs of Chelsea from the Kings Road that den of iniquity at White Hart Lane Paddy Field in the land of the Jewish Chieftain, Sir William of Nicholson.
And yea it came to pass that we took to the trains in our thousands from Watford Junction to the first Semi-Final of The Cup in our history. In every battle there must be a victor and a vanquished and on that fateful day we were the latter. Our brave knights did battle against the rich barons of the Kings Road. None the more so than the bravest, Sir Chopper of Welbourne, who met head on with the Brick House of Sh*t Macreadie. Whilst the hard man of the Kings Road did retreat to lick his wounds the brave Sir Chopper did fight on with a phial of smelling salts in his mouth, which indeed did look just as if he was playing with a fag in his mouth.
The bold Sir Terrance of Garbett did smack the ball into their net from a prodigious distance like a shot from a cannon. This goal is rarely spoken of but surely is one of the top ten goals scored by our lads. If you doubt it watch the "Golden Boys" video!
The greater firepower of the Toffs did sadly overwhelm us in the second half when they did score four goals but in those far off days we could truly say the lads in gold had arrived on the National Football map.
And it did come to pass that many eons in the future the grandsons of those brave knights did descend upon that battlefield of Villa Park. And so we add to Hastings, Agincourt, Waterloo and White Hart Lane and did Coxy and the lads do great and glorious deeds, as they are lead into battle by Lord Ray of Lewington? Cry God for Ray, England and St George...!