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Sean Dyche
Position: Central defender
From: Millwall - free transfer - July 2002
Career stats: Soccerbase
He is: Someone who doesn't buy leg wax


Sean Dyche scares me. No, I'll put that another way: he would scare me. If I ever had to cross him.... Does that make any sense? Let's just say that he's someone I wouldn't like to meet in a dark alley. He wouldn't have to do anything - hell, if he offered me a million pounds and a nice cup of tea, I'd probably run away screaming. I'm just glad he's on our side.

Because he must scare the hell out of any striker. And not just because of how he looks. He's just incredibly competent at what he does. And it's something we've missed ever since Robert Page left the club. Someone who's so committed to the cause. He's angry if you fail. He demands success. Which is why he's such an asset to the club.

I know for many people any doubts about Ray Lewington's appointment disappeared when Sean Dyche arrived, just a day after the new manager was announced. The signing of Sean Dyche certainly shows the talent our manager has for spotting players, and it shows that he knows Division One. Sean Dyche is probably the last person that Luca Vialli would've considered signing.

Why Millwall let him go is a mystery - I know it caused outrage amongst most of the crowd at the New Den. And since he's arrived he's been the model of consistency. He doesn't make many mistakes or errors. His types of performances are like those of Page or Allan Nielsen. They do all the important things that you don't notice.

Normally I'd rave about a player's greatest performance. I can't do that for Sean. I'm not saying he's played badly. He's just been very good in each match we've played, quietly plugging away. You want an example? Oh, all right. Take...Wolves. Sean strides into midfield to cover a gap. He goes for the challenge but Cameron drags the ball back with a good piece of skill. Normal defender stops there, but Sean flings his leg out and blocks Cameron's pass. A Wolves player just gets the ball and plays it to a teamate. Sean, still on the ground, hurls himself at the ball again and blocks it for a second time. Fantastic.

Now all we need to do is think of a chant...

"Real number sixes don't shave their legs!
He's got really hairy pegs!
Unlike Ramon...
Unlike Ramon..."

With that song behind him, how can he fail? Long may you continue to perform, Sean. I'm sure you're a nice guy. Just keep on scaring the hell out of everyone else....

Mike Peter
Last updated: November 2002