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Bible Codes III
Watford in the Promised Land
By Adrian Pearl
Before we go any further, let me say that this is a work of fiction and not to be taken seriously. Okay, most of the events have happened and the names used are real. Let's face it, out here in the Middle East, one summer's day is much the same as another. The weather is either hot or damn hot! There is no need for a cooker; just keep the car bonnet clean and fry the sausages and eggs by the roadside. Don't even think about a walk in the rain, it'll be another six months before the rains might arrive. This, of course has nothing to do with my research into the Bible codes, but explains the monotonous tedium which dulls the mind, and gives rise to the crazies that exist here, and not even a decent pint to anchor reality on. Sometimes you just need to have an adventure. And you thought the DaVinci Code was far fetched....

It has been claimed for some time now that there exists, contained within the Bible, some secret code that predicts all events that may come to pass. In Bible Codes I, the author, Michael Drosnin, gives evidence and cites the assassination of Rabin (Israeli PM) amongst many incidents for its legitimacy. Bible Codes II was written as he watched the planes flying into the World Trade Centre in 2001 and searched for proof that this too was written in secret codes hidden within the old testaments. While he might well be working on Bible Codes III, I can personally reveal my own studies which, as a BSaD exclusive, prove that Boothroyd's success was hidden in these same codes.

The computer facility at Bar Ilan University is easily accessible from the road. Sneaking past the row of Sabra cacti - do not bump into them, as the needles stick in with a vengeance - you can find the key under the third flow pot by the rear entrance. Remember to put it back afterwards as the security guard needs it to get in and run his betting scam, and we can't afford to upset the Russian 'Families' that operate here.

I needed the power of a main-frame, having witnessed my poor laptop struggle under the weight of twenty thousand cases being studied for my thesis on Artificial Neural Networks, and the University even had the proper mathematical programming already saved. The technique used is referred to as 'equidistant letter sequences'. All that was needed was to submit a list of words to search the Bible for, and the programme would then print the letter sequences, if found, showing their interaction.

While this technique has its faults, it worked well enough to statistical significance. The skeptics amongst you can pooh-pooh this, and yes I'm sure that the works of Shakespeare might also produce similar results, but then maybe Shakespeare didn't write his own material either....

My initial thoughts were to put in a simple search for instances where Boothroyd and Watford might be linked. I was amazed. No few than four times were these words linked at the 'D'. Moreover, there was one instance where sharing the 'a' of Watford could clearly be seen the word 'Saviour'. Down from the 'W' the letters made up the expression 'Will go up'. I couldn't believe it! The Bible, written thousands of years ago, clearly predicted that Boothroyd would lead Watford to promotion. Adding his forename to the search, I made out the expression 'Into Europe' sharing the 'i' of Aidy.

Buoyed by my initial success, I decided to look for some more links, and proceeded to try some of the players' names. Sure enough the programme found in every case linkages and some fact or comment on the player.

As leading scorer, it seemed only fair to start with Marlon. Using his full name and matching with Watford showed interceptions a number of times. In one block alone I counted twenty occurrences where the 'a's linked and at right-angles from the 'g' the word 'goal'. The codes clearly predicting the number of league goals he would score this season. Furthermore there were a number of superlative adjectives used crossing his name. 'Majestic' and 'Royal' obviously describing his performances, and 'Loved' describing the sentiment we feel towards our Number Nine. One instance clearly crossed his name with 'leading scorer'. Want more proof?

For Matt Spring, there were a couple of references. 'Was a Scummer' intersected across his name, with Watford sharing the 'W'. A second reference showed a diagonal link too, from the 'g', and heading in both directions. One way spelt Eagles, the other spelt goal. Interestingly enough the angle of the words was identical to the run he made when scoring in the semi-final at Palace.

Ben Foster also appeared, sharing the 'f' with Watford, and running across the 'o' was the word borrowed. Alas I found a second occurrence which had the word 'Bastards will keep him back' dropping down from the 'B' and Manchester Utd linked to the 'm'. Was this a bad omen that Fergie will not let his talented youngster return for another season?

As dawn began to break and I neared the end of my search I decided to check on the winners of the World Cup. Rather than spoil things for the rest of you I have sent the predictions to Sepp, and placed a 'tenner' with the security man's syndicate. Mustn't get greedy now.

If Tom Hanks wants to make a movie out of this story too, I'm sure we can add a few killings, and spice it up a bit!