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98/99: Review:
By Ian Lay
I'm tired, I'm bored, I'm depressed, I'm depressing, I'm suffering Watford withdrawl symptoms. It's Wednesday for crying out loud. How am I supposed to survive until Saturday? Ahh, I know I'll write the November review for Ig. Hhhmmm. But I'd much rather play Wing Commander Prophecy. But that's at home and I'm at work, so I can't. I've got Hexen II on one of these PCs here though..... but it's more fun playing deathmatch with H2, and everyone else is busy. I could re-intall Windows NT Server on one of the Gateway Pentium II's I've got. I could write the November review for Ig.

Okay, okay, I'll write it... honest...just to stop that little voice in my head going "If you don't write it today, Ig will e-mail you to remind you"...arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Good Evening. Here is the news. Watford are third. Maybe you didn't hear that properly... WATFORD ARE THIRD. Get it now? Good. We were even second at one stage.. but ssshhhhh... keep that quiet or else everyone will want to be second.

Tuesday 3rd November. Home. Norwich. Mission: To see how many times you can call Iwan Roberts an ugly Welsh twat.

I mean, this guy is an insult to every Welsh person out there. Boy, this guy needs a head transplant quick.

Norwich are a good side (if a little inconsistent) and deservedly got a point from the game. But consistency is the key. And since last losing (Tranmere away) we've gone: W, D, W, D, W, D, W, D (up until the end of November)..... oh go on then, I'll give you a sneak preview into December's review..... We drew with Barnsley to break the sequence. But ssshhhhh don't tell anyone. It's our little secret.

Oxford have to be one of the worst sides I've seen this season. In fact, at the time they were probably were the worst (only Crewe beat that record two weeks later). We won comfortably 2-0, but it could have been 4 or 5 or more.

Smoker had opened the scoring in the 25th minute, sidefooting the ball into the net after a Kennedy corner. But the second goal didn't come to the 77th minute, though it was worth waiting for. A lovely slick move and a good finish which any team would have been proud of. Ig describes the moment.

(cue appropriate music)
(cue small picture of Ig in right hand corner of screen)
(cue graphic to tell you that it is Ig)
(cue large cricket bat crashing down on my head)
(Can we get on with it now? - Ig)


"Then, finally, the goal. And what a goal. Gudmundsson swerved elegantly in from the right wing, exchanging one-twos with anyone who'd join in, before slipping the ball into the path of Noel-Williams' run. All the hard work was done - Gifton took it in his stride and clipped it past the keeper with the outside of his boot. Now that's direct football."

Next up was Stockport... and we were robbed. Although it took video evidence to show the penalty wasn't a penalty.

We looked the better side throughout and it was only the impressive Carlo Nash who stopped it being a rout. Richard Johnson had given us the lead on nine minutes with one of those long range power blasters he's good at. One Stockport fan obvisouly hasn't been watching Nationwide League Extra because he commented, "The lad got lucky. He'll never hit a ball that well again for the rest of his life". You're right, mate, he won't. He normally hits them better than that.

Highlight of the month for many people was Crewe at home. It started in a similar fashion to the Oxford and Stockport games, except without the early goal. We looked the better side and you had a feeling that if one went in then the proverbial floodgates would open. And how.

Smart and Noel-Williams combined for the first goal, with the latter powering home after good work from his strike partner. And then followed six minutes of great football.

Kennedy, crossing from the left wing, found Bazeley on the right hand side of the box. He held off the defender and finished clinically in the left hand corner.

Next up Tommy Mooney. He stormed forward into the area, was brought down, the ref played advantage, but Gifton hit his shot wide. Should have been a penalty, no doubt about it. You don't play advantage when a penalty can be awarded.

If you thought that was it before half time, think again. Ig provides the verbals as usual:

"Virtually on the stroke of half-time, it was three. Again, Kennedy was the provider (his detractors ought to take note), this time scampering down the left to drive a glorious low cross through the area. Nick Wright accepted the invitation, sliding in at the far post to score. Devastating."

The second half was just as entertaining, though our defensive weaknesses were exposed as Crewe twice pulled a goal back and made us sweat. But really there was no way they were going to beat us.

Jack got Crewe's first consolation goal, but we hit back nearly immediately with Gifton Noel-Williams claiming his second of the day and third in the last three games.

Crewe hit back again with a breakaway goal from Little. But it was too little too late. Ha ha ha ha ha.



Well, that's it really. I didn't see the Crystal Palace game as I had family matters to attend to and besides there is no way I was going to spend twenty pounds to get into Palarse's ground.

By all accounts we were cheated out of victory by a person with a beard. Does Andy Barnard play for Palace?

By the way, I did tell you that we're still third, didn't I?

Best Moments: Crewe at home without a doubt was the best home game I've seen so far this season. Stockport away was a great day out despite WIFC losing 7-2 in the morning.

Worst Moments: I can't really think of a single low point in what was a great month.

Funniest Moment: The Stockport fans' comments about Johno and Palarse expecting me to pay twenty pounds to get into their lovely "Premiership" ground. Oh, how I laughed.