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BLIND, STUPID AND DESPERATE
 
05/06: Preview: Stoke City
Census
The results of a survey of 29 Stoke fans

Where will you finish?
Straight up:1
Playoffs:2
Top half:9
Middle:7
Bottom half:6
Going dahn:4

Mean prediction:
13th (19th Most Confident Supporters)
(Last Season's Mean Prediction : 9th)

What would the perfect Division One table look like?
(Last season's position in brackets) 

	
			UP	DOWN	SCORE
1  (1)	Stoke       	- 	-  	-
2  (-)	Norwich 	11 	0 	11       
----------------------------------------------
3  (5)	Ipswich 	8 	1 	7 
4  (-)	Crystal Palace 	6 	0	 6 
5  (-)	Hull 		5 	1 	4 
6  (9)	Preston 	4 	0 	4 
   (-)	Southampton 	4 	0 	4       
----------------------------------------------
8  (20)	Brighton 	4 	1 	3 
9  (-)	Sheff Wed 	3 	0 	3 
10 (11)	Millwall 	2 	1 	1 
   (2)	Plymouth 	2 	1 	1 
12 (5)	Coventry 	1 	0 	1 
   (8)	Reading 	1 	0 	1 
   (9)	Watford 	1 	0 	1 
15 (-)	Luton 		1 	1 	0
16 (3)	Leicester 	0 	0 	0 
17 (3)	QPR 		1 	2 	-1 
18 (17)	Derby 		0 	2 	-2 
19 (14)	Sheff Utd 	0 	4 	-4 
20 (16)	Leeds 		0 	5 	-5 
21 (19)	Wolves 		0 	6 	-6      
---------------------------------------------- 
22 (24)	Crewe 		0 	17 	-17 
23 (21)	Burnley 	0 	20 	-20 
24 (23)	Cardiff 	0 	23 	-23

Which player in this Division would you most like to sign?
Dean Ashton (22% votes)
(Last Season: Rob Earnshaw)

Who is the club's weakest link?
Clive Clarke (36% votes)
(Last Season: Chris Greenacre)

What team should line up on August 6th?

Steve
Simonsen
John
Halls		 Gerry
Taggart		 Michael
Duberry		 Clive
Clarke
Kevin
Harper		 John
Eustace		 Dave
Brammer		 Peter
Sweeney
  Mamady
Sidibe		 Martin
Patterson		  

Six survive from last season's selection.
Darel Russel the most popular replacement for the injured John Eustace, Toddy Gudjonsson the most popular replacement for the injured Kevin Harper

World Cup or Promotion?:
28% say World Cup (9th most patriotic supporters)

Who'd play your manager in a Hollywood Blockbuster:
Gerard Dépardieu

Other insightful nominations:
Any random fat Dutch guy, Ed Wood, Jean Claude Van Damme, Jon Goodman, Marlon Brando... but Dutch, Martin Sheen, Rutger Hauer, Ray Winstone

In general, what's your opinion of beards?:

Ban 'em7
Can be grown under licence6
Should be encouraged where appropriate5
Not a subject for government intervention5
Ought to be compulsory4

Supporters most in favour of compulsory beards

What is the capital of Ecuador? :
21% answer correctly (2nd least knowledgable supporters)

28% confess to cheating (6th biggest cheats) of whom 5 still answered incorrectly

Other original suggestions: Tahlin, Umbongo, Guernsey, Googled it and still don't know

If your players were given the task of making gravy as some kind of team-building exercise, how would it turn out?

Custard10
Strangely Lumpy7
Just Right6
Dry Paste3
Cold Water3

Stoke deemed most likely squad to concoct Custard, second least likely squad to come up with something Strangely Lumpy

Which is best, mud or dust?:
76% say Mud (14th most pro-mud)

Is there really any need?:
62% say Yes (4th most enthusiastic)