Soundbites(from assorted census correspondents)

"Hull should be banned for fielding an offensive manager..."

"the busiest starbucks outside of london is on albion street leeds"

"when did frances de la tour from rising damp(miss jones)have a sex change and change her name to ivan campo of bolton wanderers"

"posh people should be banned from football, bastards!"

"My dog just got all my chocolate rappers out of my bin whilst I was answering your questions stupid mut!"

"that this is the least eagerly anticipated season for me for many a year"

"Can we take luther blisset on loan?"

"We have a much younger squad who are on several years deals, so fans may now identify with the players, as they will be here more than 5 minutes"

"The old woman who swallowed a fly would have died long before she got to the horse"

"The Pope died recently (Not Eddie Pope though)"

"Jordan Stewart seems like a nice chap but he's a bit dim and I think you've done your dough a bit on that deal..."