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BLIND, STUPID AND DESPERATE
 
04/05: Preview: Stoke City
Census
The results of a survey of 33 Stoke fans

Where will you finish?
Straight up:1
Playoffs:12
Top half:14
Middle:4
Bottom half:1
Going dahn:1

Mean prediction:
9th (14th most Confident Supporters)
(Last Season's Mean Prediction : 16th)

What would the perfect Division One table look like?
(Last season's position in brackets) 

	
			UP	DOWN	SCORE	
1  (1)	Stoke           -	-	-
2  (-)	Plymouth 	7 	0 	7    
----------------------------------------------
3  (-)	Leicester 	5 	0 	5 
   (-)	QPR 		5 	0 	5 
5  (13)	Coventry 	4 	0 	4 
   (4) 	Ipswich 	4 	0 	4    
----------------------------------------------
7  (2) 	West Ham 	7 	4 	3 
8  (6) 	Reading 	3 	0 	3 
9  (10)	Preston 	1 	0 	1 
   (9) 	Watford 	1 	0 	1 
11 (17)	Millwall 	0 	1 	-1 
12 (3) 	Nottm Forest 	1 	3 	-2 
   (21)	Sunderland 	1 	3 	-2 
14 (8) 	Sheff Utd 	1 	4 	-3 
15 (11)	Rotherham 	0 	3 	-3 
16 (-) 	Leeds 		5 	9 	-4 
17 (17)	Derby 		0 	4 	-4 
   (13)	Gillingham 	0 	4 	-4 
19 (-) 	Wolves 		5 	10 	-5 
20 (-) 	Brighton 	2 	7 	-5 
21 (11)	Burnley 	1 	7 	-6    
----------------------------------------------
22 (19)	Wigan 		0 	7 	-7 
23 (24)	Cardiff 	0 	15 	-15 
24 (23)	Crewe 		1 	17 	-16

Which player in this Division would you most like to sign?
Rob Earnshaw (20% votes)
(Last Season: Joe Cole/Ade Akinbiyi)

Who is the club's weakest link?
Chris Greenacre (21% votes)
(Last Season: The Board)

What team should line up on August 7th?

Steve
Simonsen
John
Halls		 Gerry
Taggart		 Wayne
Thomas		 Clive
Clarke
Darel
Russell		 Dave
Brammer		 John
Eustace		 Lewis
Neal
  Ade
Akinbiyi		 Gifton
Noel-Williams		  

Do you remember Craig Ramage:
45.5% say Yes (12th best memories)
51.5% say No
3% claim to be Craig Ramage

Book Lines:
IT Handbooks: 2
Management Twaddle: 0
Foreign Stuff: 1
Porn: 3

More interesting fare:
"warning to owners of projection televisions"

"Abe North was still in the Ritz Bar where he had been since Nine in the morning"

"Heavy smoke on the second floor had already taken it's toll and the dog was dead"

Name Something Rubbish:
Port Vale (13% of vote)

Other suggestions: Telesales Twats, Gary Neville, Lee Mills, Policemen/Women, Sagwise, The South, Wales

Do you know the way to San Jose? :
19.3% say Yes (15th most knowledgable supporters)

25.8% respond "I've been away so long I may go wrong and lose my way" (20th most musical supporters)

Can you wire a plug ?
84.4% say Yes (7th most competent supporters)

Favoured Pizza Toppings
Pepperoni20
Extra Cheese18
Olives9
Spinach6
Tuna5
Boiled Egg2
Strawberry0
Don't like Pizza0

What should you have been doing instead of completing this survey?
Work43.7%(16th biggest skivers)
Nothing, my conscience is clear34.4%(7th emptiest lives)
Sleeping15.6%(8th most deprived of sleep)
Household Chores6.3%(15th most neglected washing-up)