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BLIND, STUPID AND DESPERATE
 
04/05: Preview: Crewe Alexandra
Census
The results of a survey of 28 Alex fans

Where will you finish?
Straight up:3
Playoffs:0
Top half:4
Middle:9
Bottom half:11
Going dahn:1

Mean prediction:
15th (20th Most Confident Supporters)
(Last Season's Mean Prediction : 18th - bang on!)

What would the perfect Division One table look like?
(Last season's position in brackets) 

	
			UP	DOWN	SCORE			
1  (1)	Crewe    	-	-	-
2  (10)	Ipswich 	7 	1 	6  
----------------------------------------------
3  (-) 	Plymouth 	6 	0 	6 
4  (2) 	West Ham 	6 	2 	4 
5  (-)	Brighton 	5 	1 	4 
6  (-)	Wolves 		6 	3 	3  
----------------------------------------------
7  (-) 	Leicester 	3 	0 	3 
   (6) 	Sunderland 	3 	0 	3 
9  (7) 	Derby 		2 	0 	2 
10 (3) 	Nottm Forest 	3 	2	1 
11 (15)	Preston 	1 	0 	1 
   (5)  Reading 	1 	0 	1 
13 (-) 	QPR 		1	1 	0
14 (15)	Watford 	0 	0 	0
   (7) 	Coventry 	0 	0 	0 
16 (18)	Rotherham 	2 	3 	-1 
17 (10)	Burnley 	0 	2 	-2 
   (19)	Millwall 	0 	2 	-2 
19 (9) 	Sheff Utd 	0 	3 	-3 
20 (-) 	Leeds 		3 	7 	-4 
21 (12)	Gillingham 	1 	5 	-4  
----------------------------------------------
22 (17)	Wigan 		2 	8 	-6 
23 (23)	Cardiff 	0 	11 	-11 
24 (24)	Stoke 		0 	33 	-33

Which player in this Division would you most like to sign?
Rob Earnshaw (21% votes)
(Last Season: Joe Cole)

Who is the club's weakest link?
Neil Sorvel (50% votes)
(Last Season: Ademola Bankole)

What team should line up on August 7th?

Ben
Williams
Billy
Jones		 Stephen
Foster		 Adie
Moses		 Anthony
Tonkin
Ben
Rix		 Justin
Cochrane		 Kenny
Lunt		 David
Vaughan
  Dean
Ashton		 Steve
Jones		  

Do you remember Craig Ramage:
32.1% say Yes (2nd worst memories)
60.7% say No
7% claim to be Craig Ramage

Book Lines:
IT Handbooks: 0
Management Twaddle: 0
Foreign Stuff: 1
Porn: 0

More interesting fare:
"There was the Comb I had contrived out of the Stumps of the King's Beard; and another of the same materials, but fixed into a pairing of her Majesty's Thumb-nail, which served for the Back."

"Rail planing is suitable for use where the amount of metal to be removed is considerable and the length of site is short, i.e . less than about one mile per six to eight hour shift and a number of passes may be made within the possession time available."

"The uneventful return flight from Amsterdam arrived back in Manchester at 10pm."

Name Something Rubbish:
Stoke (39% of vote)

Other suggestions: Boy Bands, Coca Cola, Nick Barmby, Nipples for Men, Rail Grinding

Do you know the way to San Jose? :
28.6% say Yes (3rd most knowledgable supporters)

39.3% respond "I've been away so long I may go wrong and lose my way" (7th most musical supporters)

Can you wire a plug ?
64.3% say Yes (Least competent supporters)

Favoured Pizza Toppings
Pepperoni16
Extra Cheese14
Olives7
Spinach7
Boiled Egg4
Tuna3
Strawberry3
Don't like Pizza5
(Greatest proportion not liking pizza, second most votes for Boiled Egg and Strawberry)

What should you have been doing instead of completing this survey?
Nothing, my conscience is clear40.7%(3rd emptiest lives)
Work25.9%(23rd biggest skivers)
Sleeping25.9%(Most deprived of sleep)
Household Chores7.4%(12th most neglected washing-up)