Soundbites (from assorted Census correspondents)

"There are only 10 different kinds of people, those who understand binary code, & those who don't."

"I like Stork margarine, because I've only got one leg."

"What a game that 3-3 draw in 2000-01 season, and that 4-4 game when we were 4-1 up. Up the baggies."

"I have birth mark on my right butt cheak in the shape of Bart Simpson"

"Get some decent pies for away supporters ! Last season was fun....this time its serious Boing Boing"

"There's a Chuck Norris film on Channel Five this Friday, take necessary action to avoid this."

"I like juicy red apples and watch Countdown if I get back from work early"

"Slow Roasted Lamb & Mint Flavoured Walkers "Posh" Crisps - are they a gift from the gods?!!"

"I am having a baked potato for me tea and its just pinged in the microwave."

"West Brom don't come from Birmingham and the M1 is not a fun place to be stuck on in a traffic jam when Watford have dumped you out of the FA Cup ;)"