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BLIND, STUPID AND DESPERATE
 
02/03: Preview: Watford
Census
The results of a survey of 96 Watford fans

Predictions

Where will you finish?
Straight up: 5
Playoffs: 24
Top half: 48
Middle: 13
Bottom half: 4
Going dahn: 1

Mean prediction:
9th (12th Most Confident Supporters)
(Last Season's Mean Prediction : 4th)

What would the perfect Division One table look like?
(Last season's position in brackets)


			UP	DOWN	SCORE  	
1  (1)	Watford		-	-	-
2  (-)	Brighton	41	4	37
----------------------------------------------
3  (-)	Ipswich		36	0	36
4  (2)	Preston		10	1	9
5  (18)	Grimsby		13	5	8
6  (-)	Derby		11	4	7
----------------------------------------------
7  (12)	Gillingham	10	5	5
   (13)	Walsall		10	5	5
9  (6)	Norwich		9	4	5
10 (-)	Reading		9	5	4
11 (5)	Nottm Forest	7	3	4
12 (9)	Rotherham	8	5	3
13 (-)	Leicester	4	7	-3
14 (4)	Coventry	3	6	-3
15 (19)	Portsmouth	3	7	-4
   (16)	Sheffield Weds	3	7	-4
17 (10)	Sheffield Utd	1	5	-4
18 (14)	Bradford City	2	20	-18
19 (-)	Stoke City	0	19	-19
20 (-)	Wimblestein	2	27	-25
21 (20)	Burnley		3	34	-31
----------------------------------------------
22 (22)	Wolves		3	35	-32
23 (23)	Millwall	3	41	-38
24 (21)	Crystal Palace	1	41	-40

Players

Which Division One player would you most like to sign?
Wayne Brown (56% votes)
(Last Season: Tommy Mooney)

Who is the club's weakest link?
Patrick Blondeau (65% votes). See, the season's got off to a good start already...
(Last Season: Robert Page)

What is the club's all-time worst eleven?
1 - Perry DIGWEED
2 - Patrick BLONDEAU
3 - Dominic LUDDEN
4 - Steve TALLBOYS
5 - Pierre ISSA (Capt)
6 - Ramon VEGA
7 - Rod THOMAS
8 - Mickey QUINN
9 - Trevor SENIOR
10- Stephen HUGHES
11- Mark GAVIN

The World Cup

Mean World Cup Games Watched:
30.7 (16th highest number of early mornings)

World Cup Final Channel:
BBC 76
ITV 3
Other 7
Didn't Watch 6

Worst ITV Pundit (except Gazza):
Barry Venison (36% of those who expressed a preference)

The Watfordest World Cup Star :
Ronaldo (15 votes) - "looks great in a yellow shirt".

Other suggestions: Cuahetemoc Blanco, De Marcus Beasley, Pierre Issa - "if he hadn't been petulant, expensive and crap", and Gerardo Torrado - "Definitely. Anybody says anybody else they are wrong. Itís Gerardo Torrado of Mexicoorrado"

Other stuff

The Watford Adjective :
Frustrating (9 votes).

Other suggestions: Mostly Harmless, Profligate, Capricious, Different Gravy, As Italian as Hamburgers

How Do you take your Tea:

Milk no Sugar 35
Milk, one Sugar 19
Coffee 12
None 12
Milk, too much sugar 9
Some Undrinkable Fruit Tea 5
Black 2
As it comes 2

You have a bullet and a gun; who do you kill :
The heads of Carlton and Granada (9 votes).

Other suggestions: Jenny off GMTV, Any American Sports Producer, Des Lyttle, Ray Wilkins, Jack Petchey, David Connolly, Dickie Shout, A random juggler ("as a deterrent"), Jeff Powell, "whoever's bonking Kournikova", "The ar**hole who pinched my wallet and phone at Kings Cross", Colin Payne's Cat ("flea riddled bastard that it is"), Charles Koppel and Nobody ("a simple chant of 'you're not very good' does the job")

Can your club help Ramon Vega ?
85% say NO (5th most prudent supporters)

Have you been to the Isle of Wight ?
69% worldly-wise (3rd most widely travelled)

Should Cake be sold in Football Grounds ?
53% say YES to cake (6th most in favour)

Custard. Good or Bad ?
74% approve of Custard (8th highest approval rating).