How will Wednesday do next season?
Mid-table mediocracy. That's the best we can hope for. We have already lost about five players from last year's squad and brought in just £2.5m. We haven't the money to buy any good players and so promotion is about as likely as a getting a decent pint of bitter down south!

What do you/Wednesday think of Watford?
There's no real aggro between the two clubs as far as I'm aware. Personally, I reckon we wish we had a bit more of the fighting spirit you showed in the Premiership. Maybe then we wouldn't have been playing you in Division One.

What is the most beautiful thing about Wednesday?
The fact that no matter how bad we are, we'll always be the best team in Sheffield. That, and those lovely blue and white Stripes.

What is the ugliest thing about Wednesday?
We're crap. We are always potentially a big club but never quite get there. Years of bad management have taken us down the pan. It's gonna take a good few years to get back to anything like we were in, say, 91 to 93 (five Cup Finals, in Europe and regular top seven finishers). Dave Richards, Howard Culley - tossers!

Which pundit do Wednesday fans hate the most and please think of something creative to do to him/her?
I'd probably have to say Alan Hansen but most people hate him, don't they? So I'll say, part-timer Steve Bruce. Ugly git, ex-piggy manager and helped ruin David Hirst's career. I guess we should tie him to the four corners of the goal posts and take shots at him. This would be okay for Hirsty but the current squad wouldn't get close to hitting him. So we'll have to tie him to the big pillar that holds the Kop roof up. He should take a few hits there.

Can you recommend a friendly pub near Hillsborough?
We're all friendly up here in Sheff. Honest. You could try the White Horse at the top of Halifax Road.

Where's the best place to park near Hillsborough?
Nowhere. Don't even come close. Parking at Hillsbrough is terrible. Get the bus or a train. If you have to come by car, get here early and park in the car park opposite Hillsborough. Bugger to get out of after the game, though.

What's the nearest rail station to Hillsborough and how far is it ?
Sheffield Midland station. It's about six miles away but there are regular buses.