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Grimsby: opposition opinion
by Tony Butcher of The Electronic Fishcake

How will Grimsby do next season?
As always - better than anyone expects. We will start slowly in September, surge unexpectedly to peek our little striped heads above the promotion parapet in November, hide under the duvet in December, re-emerge as outside thoughts for a play -off place in January, tumble alarmingly in March, win a game in early April, then never score another goal until the end of the season, to finish 18th or 19th, three points above the relegation.

What do you/Grimsby think of Watford?
Collectively, Grimsby supporters think nothing of Watford the Town, or Watford the Football Club. They have a vague feeling that you are from down south and, therefore, are Cock-en-ees. A cynic would add that collectively Grimsby fans rarely think.

Personally I have many thoughts as I live in Watford. The celebrations for your promotion to the Premiership annoyed me intensely - I was forced to close the curtains and put on some very loud music to drown out the cheering masses. I contemplated hiring an open top bus to drive around and celebrate your return to the fold, as a personal salute to your season in the sun. But I didn't. I can't stand the Taylor way of playing, but recognise that he has a system/method that achieves success. I also applaud his refusal to throw a lot of money around buying other people's cast offs and cheap foreign nobodies (apart from Gravelaine and Woooooooter, of course).

What is the most beautiful thing about Grimsby?
Undoubtedly the Dock Tower. Elegance out of keeping with the rest of the Town's "architecture". You can't help but notice its Italianate charms as you drive in to the Town along the rolling, bouncing A180. If you mean the football club I would have to say Wayne Burnett's hair. Unfortunately he had it cut last season so you won't see it. It was, as Mark Lawrenson would say, lovely hair.

What is the ugliest thing about Grimsby?
I am afraid the ignorance of many of the supporters. It is embarrassing to hear some of the "witty" comments aimed at the opposition players and supporters. It's a small Town, what more can I add. "You're not from round 'ere, are you?".

Which pundit do Grimsby fans hate the most and please think of something creative to do to him/her?
We are patronised by all, so it's hard to pick out one in particular. One of the local radio bods, Dave "Gibbering" Gibbons is ludicrously awful with a perceived 'Ull bias. We could make him sit on the Dock Tower. Cold and painful. Nationally Bobby Gould always says we are going down. Yeah, right, Mr Succesful. Mark Lawrenson complained about the number of posts on the main stand blocking his view (and it being cold), but he's a sitting duck, isn't he? Or should that be sitting duckie? ("I love the colour of those shirts!")

Can you recommend a friendly pub near Blundell Park?
The Rutland is relatively quiet and unassuming.

Where's the best place to park near Blundell Park?
I park there, so I'm not telling you. Go and park in Ramsdens like everyone else! It's all street parking. Park in the wrong place and it'll take you 25 minutes to get out of the Town. As you are from Watford that, of course, is a small traffic jam.

What's the nearest railway station to Blundell Park and how far is it ?
Cleethorpes, which is 1.5 miles away. It'll take you 20-25 minutes walking. You'll get a sinking feeling as you approach the ground on the train and keep going, and going and going...