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BLIND, STUPID AND DESPERATE
 
00/01: Season preview:
Fulham: opposition opinion
by Paul Browne, of Fulhamweb.com

How will Fulham do next season?
In the real world, an improvement on last season's ninth place and a play off place would be acceptable. However, we stopped living in the real world when Chairman Mo took over.

Expectancy is almost at fever pitch amongst supporters, and there is massive pressure on Fulham to deliver. Jean Tigana has impressed everybody with his professionalism so far. If he can motivate the team to reach the heights scaled in the cup competitions last season, I expect Fulham to reach the top division for the first time in over thirty years.

What do you/Fulham think of Watford?
An easy six points!

But seriously, there is no great rivalry, probably because we don't seem to play each other much. You did the double over us in your Championship year, and upset me when I was eleven by beating us in an F.A Cup 4th round replay. Jan Lohman (who?) scored in both games.

What is the most beautiful thing about Fulham?
Chairman Mo's wad! Terraces and the insane optimism (the best rumour of the summer so far was the link with David Trezeguet, who subsequently signed for Juventus for 14million!)

What is the ugliest thing about Fulham?
The Fulham Alliance. A group of well-heeled local residents, hellbent on stopping the ground re-development. How the football ground escaped their attention when they purchased their properties is anyone's guess.

The new away shirt is considered a bit of a minger, the general consensus is that it would probably look more at home on a pub darts team. For me, last year's lime green number was as bad as it gets.

Which pundit do Fulham fans hate the most and please think of something creative to do to him/her?
Kevin Keegan - we have it on good authority that Keegan's infamous line in the World Cup '98 game with Romania - "Only one team will win it from here" - was repeated in his half time team talk against the same opposition in Euro 2000.

On a local level, the incoherent babblings of Ken Myers on an independent Fulham phone line have long been ridiculed.

Can you recommend a friendly pub near Craven Cottage?
Pharaoh and Firkin. Just off Putney Bridge (three mins from station).

Where's the best place to park near Craven Cottage?
Parking is a nightmare at Craven Cottage. Public transport is your best bet.

What's the nearest tube station to Craven Cottage and how far is it ?
Putney Bridge Tube Station (District Line). A ten to fifteen minute stroll through Bishop's Park.